Kanako Sasaki, Uniform, Image courtesy of the artist
Dreamy
Teodora Lazic
Don’t tell me you aren’t dreaming! You are abused if you believe so. Everyone dreams. Everyone has dreams every night. The only thing you might not know is that you cannot remember last night’s dream. They all disappear when you wake up, don’t they? But some of them stay in your mind the following morning and the next morning and the morning after that. They cannot go away. You wonder why? Me too. Dreams mingle with my present and my past. Afterwards, I daydream. Especially when I am in love. Then, I’m lost. I don’t know whether I am in reality or in a dream. I am becoming desperate. When I am in love, I am trying to find whether I am a girl or a woman. My feelings change from fear to hostility. However, the only way to find it, is to look at my developed photographs that show me where I was born, raised and how my emotions created my dreamland. Is this my dreamy Wonderland?
Suddenly, I realized that I have something in common with another girl on the other side of the world: Japanese photographer, Kanako Sasaki. One of her most popular projects is called ‘Wanderlust’. This project is full of beautiful contradictions and hesitations. Her images present childishness but at the same time, try to escape from it and embrace womanhood. One image depicts a Japanese girl who is awkwardly trying to stand on two hands against a wall wondering if, from that position, she might see the world from a different perspective. Will this change her way of dreaming? Will this change my way of dreaming too? Will we grow up or will this upside down view allow us to stay young? This image is transparent to me; I can visualize myself through it.
After that, I thought I should stop looking at her photography but I couldn’t resist. They reminded me of my childhood, of my youth. How is it possible that one person can have almost the same childhood memories and thoughts as another? Even if we are miles and miles apart?
Her image ‘As a Leaf’ just blew me away. What was there? A natural environment with a beautiful lake almost full covered with big green leaves called lily pads. Now, imagine a picture with cold green tonality and a girl lying on the grass next to the lake wearing a knee length white dress and white shoes. Lying on her stomach with one arm almost reaching the lake, she looks like she is enjoying being surrounded by the green earth and her dreams. She is meditating. She is in love. I’m wondering if this photo is a dream or a reality or a dream in a dream? Is she trying to reach the girl in herself or a woman? If she reaches the water, will she no longer be a girl and will her dreamy thoughts vanish. Will she ever be able to touch the water?
Indeed, Kanako’s works present a combination of traditional Japanese and modern Western culture. Her photography expresses a range of moods from happiness to puzzlement, from solitude to belligerence. Her images play with femininity in a witty way. Like me, she is still in the process of finding herself. Her wanderlust exists just like mine but is that because we are searching for another girlish adventure or are we running away from becoming the woman who tries to get inside us every time we stay long enough in one place? Should we abandon our past and our childish memories and live in the present? But isn’t it so pure and innocent to be a little girl? If so, why do I have to wake up and stop dreaming? Why does Kanako have to wake up and stop this utopian project?
